Dirty Danson

snakes in a movie theater!!!

Here is a ben-like post from a news article I found....yes news. The story is about snakes.

FlameThrower Burger

the flamethrower burger from dairy queen is awesome!! I've been trying to find a DQ that can make them, cause not all of them can. Some can just make hotdogs and shakes. So I found one, on Payne ave, two blocks from my house no less. It did not dissapoint.
BUN-Chipotle Mayo-
Tomato
Lettuce
Onion
Jalepeno Flavored Bacon
One Juicy Burger
Melted PepperJack Cheese
Another Juicy Burger
BUN

i think anyways, i ate it pretty fast.
But go try one if you have not, it's worth the search for a capable DQ.

Late night wrestling.

Late night wrestling. There is something to be said for every time a group of guys get together for a night of drinking and shenanigans. Testosterone will run high, and competition will ensue. Many times, for no reason at all, a shirt will come off, signifying that a challenge has been set.
The alcohol, which is the main reason for the shirt removing and challenging, also prevents the participants from feeling the true pain that is occurring. The pain that will leave an elbow, knee, or head with raspberries the next day, as well as unexplainable bruises.
In a long drawn out battle, moves that some call "classics" are used, such as the "tap on the chest", "the wedgy" and even the dreaded "drool on the forehead". Anything goes. These wrestling matches are usually (and really only should be) between good friends that had no animosity towards each other during the evening.
A handshake, hug, or highfive is the common exchanged to say that "everything is cool, good fight, and I'm way too sweaty now." Objects in the room may have been spilled, broken or disturbed, yet all damage is forgiven for the good of the battle (hopefully).
In the end, the winner of this match is not always in the clear, because they are now the "champion" and must defend their belt. And on it goes, if only to entertain our friends and prove our might, late night wrestling will always be a source of amusement, exercise, and worth.
Off the Topic Thought:
The guy who invented the "magic marker" must have been a magician.

Disaster Movies

Category 7. I have not watched any part of said movie, but I know a few things about the way these movies go. First off, they all start the same way; Calm day with all the standard characters. You have disfunctional over the top, yet somewhat genius, single male who is suspicious that something is in the air. You have the family, with the father who had not been living up to his "man" duties, and can't impress his kids or his wife anymore. You have the young attractive girl, who is Miss Independent ( and later will be reduced to crying). And of course the can't forget the young stud who is the rock, Mr. Reliable and assumes some sort of "off-duty fire/police man role. Then the tragedy strikes. This rag-tag crew that didn't know each other before the explosions, all seem to find each other and form a survival group. Each piece fits each other, except not at first. Not everyone knows their role, some want to be the leader, some are afraid to step up. Our hero, the firecop, assumes leader role until another character, possibly the rebel guy who's an excon, and now delivers mail by bike, challenges firecop, and unveils that our hero wasn't always a hero. Something ridiculous like he was trying to save a family in a sinking car, and only saved two of the four. Headlines read: "Officer Rove suspended indefinatly after he let two children die in icey crash." Real Bad Guy. After the panic that ensues, our crazy genius and hero team up and formulate a plan that can salvage something in this movie. In the end, with all that is lost, (a city, a boat, a tunnel, the world) our crew has survived, and exercised all our characters demons. Our crazy genius is vindicated as legitimate genius and gets hired by the C.I.A. to sniff out mysteries. Our family man, proves to his family that he can protect them and has a decent catch phrase too. Our independent lady opens her heart to the firecop and gives up her manhating ways. Our firecop, besides getting the girl (who'll he'll probably cheat on), gets that monkey off his back that he can't make the Eric Gagne Save in the clutch. And even our hate filled rebel, will be seen throwing high-fives with firecop, and they have to work together and lift something that two men can regularly lift (a car, a concrete wall, a boulder). Needless to say, I've seen this movie without even seeing it.
But why do I watch these movies like Independence Day, Dante's Peak, and Daylight? WELL I CAN'T HELP IT. But I won't watch the T.V. made ones. Come on, The Beast staring CSI main man, Willy Petersen? They are cheesy and the budgets just aren't big enough to make the action look impressive. So leave it to James Cameron and Jerry Bruckheimer for the big action movies, cause they know the formula.

Wednesday night dilemma

Jeez, it's hard to keep up with this thing now a days. Sorry bout that to anyone who actually check my blog in hopes of seeing some story of applebee's lusting and whatnot. For this long overdue installment, I hope to answer a question that has plagued many for some time. The issue I mention is why guys call multiple girls on the same night. It may seem obvious to most guys, but I figure it is worth dissecting to give some logic behind the madness.

1. In a night where potential is unlimited (bars, girls, nothing to do the next day) you want to have as good of a time as possible, cause these days are numbered.
2. Finding a new girl at the bar is always great, but remains a gamble. This is all economics.
3. Calling up girls that you know you are attracted to and vice-versa reduces the search time for a newbie.
4. Since most girls that are on this "list" of single and interested are not always free to go out whenever and may have other plans, you must call an appropriate number to get one to come out.
5. IMPORTANT: If there is a girl that you know will come out, why not just call her? The answer is the same reason you don't want to be in a relationship in the first place with her, you want more. Hitting the bars isn't just about hooking up, it's about hooking up with the one you want.
6. Girls are thinking the same thing, they have options thrown at them left and right, if you get picked, you're doing something right.
7. In the event that multiple girls decide they're up for hanging out you have a few options
1. (less preferred) Keep one and tell the others that you changed your mind, have to get up early, feeling sick.
2. (preferred) Let them all come to the same place, meet each other, get jealous, and sort out who deserves the most attention. Remember they chose you to hang out with, so you have to acknownledge this and make them feel welcome among your other friends.
   
8. What is the magic number? If your plans to go out are set early in the day, it's best to start with your priority as early as possible, say 2-3 ish, or even the day before. Wait a few hours before you go to your number two, cause you are waiting for a response from number 1. If you haven't heard back by seven, you should be looking at both 3 and 4. These two are basically interchangeable and would probably hook up with each other anyways if everything went right. After 4, you are hitting your C list, and these are usually the ones you call after you go to the bar and are getting a little drunk.
9. Four is the magic number, but as noted in #8, timing is important.
   
10. What about the idea of ruining what chances you had with say number 1 by having two other girls show up along with her? The answer to this question is simply: if you have a list of four, then number one is a "flavor of the week" to use a nice metaphor. If you truly cared about the number one, then she would be the only one on your list, and this wouldn't apply to you. This list is chronological for the most part;
1. #1 is either the new smokin' hot girl you met at a party last week, or the girl you've been working for the last two years.
2. #2 is usually a girl that you have class or work with, and you are looking for that night when alcohol and other spirits may have a favorable effect.
3. #3 is always that girl you dated once or twice and fooled around with everytime, but innocent around the edges. She isn't the best looking and your friends don't like her that much, but with your hookup stats, she's makes a great spot on your roster.
4. #4 is nothing but innocent, she's at the bars just as much as you, if not more, and goes home with some foreign guy everytime. #3 and #4 are interchangeable because they are both great plays from the bench, but nothing you'll brag about in the post game press conference. Big difference in this one is that the #4 will always use a condom cause she's knows she's dirty, and the #3 will say she doesn't like them, even though she's probably dirtier (be careful).

In summary, knowing your magic number, the depth and strength and weaknesses of your roster will greatly improve your bar experiences. Now take me out back and slap me in the face.

The Day I Forgot What Sleep Was

On no sleep and drinking an unnecessary beer at a White Sox-Angels game in Chicago.